


Intoxicated With You

by marksdolphin



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Drunken Flirting, Humour, M/M, Pick Up Lines, Well - Freeform, i tried to be funny anyway, kinda fluffy i suppose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-03
Updated: 2015-12-03
Packaged: 2018-05-04 19:24:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5345774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marksdolphin/pseuds/marksdolphin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tumblr prompt from teyriantimelord10: the MI-6 squad stays late in the office and opens a few bottles of wine; drunken shenanigans ensue</p>
            </blockquote>





	Intoxicated With You

“I’d like to say well done to Bond, on this mission, without whom we most certainly would have failed,” M spoke with the authority that only somebody of her prestige could, raising her wine glass in lead to everybody else doing the same. Everybody but Bond. Bond forced himself to let out a small smile as everyone drank their wine, deciding eventually to join them and drink his own far quicker than anybody else in the room; he was rather more experienced than most when it came to drinking. 

Q sat on the chair next to him, close enough to feel comfortable with each other. He took very small tastes of the deep red liquid that filled his glass, conscious of having to return to the office tomorrow morning and not wanting to do that with a hangover. He observed for the most part, cheering on when everybody else did, but mostly silent. He watch how M didn’t actually drink her wine, and noticed how Moneypenny kept looking over at Bond. Bond poured himself another glass before anybody else had even finished their first, causing Q to frown slightly. Part of the Quartermaster wanted to tell him to stop, slow down. But that would be useless, he knew. Instead, he turned to see Tanner. He had his glass to his lips, drinking almost as quickly as Bond. 

“Bond, you should slow down,” Q whispered in 007’s ear as he poured his third glass of red wine, knowing his pleas were useless but trying anyway. He did care about the agent, after all. Although, it was clear he would never be listened to, not tonight, at least.

“You should drink up,” Bond replied, clinking his glass against that of Q’s as if to say ‘cheers’ but Q was truly unsure why. It didn’t matter, though, because it just reinforced the fact that Bond was going to spend the night drinking as much as he could, and Q really couldn’t stop him. Well, he could, but he wasn’t going to try that at the office. Not this early into the night, at any case. Reluctantly, Q did as Bond had suggested and drank his wine. If everybody else could do it, why couldn’t he? True, he was probably the most inexperienced in the room but nevertheless, he didn’t want everybody to know that. Although, he was quite aware that they probably already did, they knew everything here.

“Do you mind if I take this?” Moneypenny pointed to the half empty bottle of red wine that sat on the table next to Bond, having been opened by him and drank only by him, so far. There were other bottles around the room, and there was a table not so far away with two unopened bottles sat on it, but Bond’s bottle was far more appetising. Q felt jealous. He shouldn’t, he knew he shouldn’t, but he couldn’t help it. Bond was smirking, teasing her buy holding the bottle just out of her reach and somehow Q couldn’t help but think that it wasn’t her that Bond was trying to get to, it was him. That was ridiculous, of course. But still, maybe it was hope.

“She likes you, y’know,” Q couldn’t help but think that his words sounded like those of a small child, whispered to his best friend on a playground. Maybe that’s what this all was; childish. Bond wouldn’t be trying to make Q jealous, because anybody who Bond wanted, Bond could get. That would be no different were it Q or Moneypenny or somebody completely random he just walked past on the street. There was just something about him.

“Not my type,” Bond took another drink.

“What? Is M more your type?” Q had to laugh at his own joke, glancing over at her as she spoke with Tanner who laughed at something she said. She still hadn’t drank any of her drink. 

“Oh, of course,” Bond’s voice was laced with sarcasm as his eyes darted around the room. He wasn’t looking for anything in particular, but he decided to take a moment to see what everybody else in the room was doing, as Q had done earlier.

Q kept drinking, pausing after roughly his fifth or sixth glass. He felt himself getting slightly dizzy and he decided he needed some fresh air. In an attempt to stand from his chair, he tripped and almost found himself sat on Bond, but the agent had quicker reactions than that.

“Someone’s drunk,” he grinned, helping Q stand up properly and get his balance again. It made him laugh that he was already in this state, but he had known that Q was less used to drinking anyway so he didn’t know what else he had expected.

“I’m not drunk,” Q’s arms were the only thing bridging a gap between his own chest and that of Bond as the agent wrapped his arms around his back in an attempt to support him. “I’m intoxicated,” he paused again, a grin forming on his lips as he thought about his next words. He didn’t think about them for very long at all before they escaped his lips. “With you.”

“OK, Q, maybe it’s a bit of both, let’s get you home,” Bond couldn’t help but smirk as he picked his coat up, wrapping it around Q’s shoulders in an attempt to prevent him from getting too wet in the pouring rain.

“You want to take me home? Don’t you want to buy me a drink first?” Q refused to walk with him, his mind telling him that he wanted another drink and that Bond was going to buy it for him. It didn’t occur to him that they weren’t actually paying for their drinks right now and that there was a bottle of wine and an empty glass directly next to him so that he could easily pour his own drink if he wanted to. But no, Bond had to buy him a drink. 

“I’ll buy you a drink at home, come on,” Bond knew it was useless trying to explain that drinks were free and he was seriously taking him home so that he could sleep the alcohol off. Instead, he decided to just work with the idea as best he could. 

“Don’t be silly, Bond. You wouldn’t have to buy me a drink at home,” he giggled childishly, hitting against 007’s chest as though that would persuade him to buy him a drink.

“Do I really have to carry you out of here?” Bond rolled his eyes, looking at the other man seriously in an attempt to convince him that he really did have to leave now, and he was going to do so whether he liked it or not.

“Ha, good luck with th-” Q was cut off by Bond’s sigh before he crouched down and wrapped an arm around the back of Q’s legs. With ease, he lifted the man up over his shoulder and began to carry him out of the door. He heard Q giggle behind him and shook his head as he realised he was practically dealing with a child. 

Bond said his goodbyes for himself and Q before he left the building. His own blazer was now being worn by Q who was slowly becoming more and more nauseous by the second. Luckily, Bond’s car was relatively close to the office and they arrived there after a short walk. When they did, Bond put a very tired Q in the passenger seat of the car and told him not to move as he fixed his seatbelt in position, warning him of the consequences if he even considered throwing up anywhere but on the road.

“Hey Bond, can I ask you something?” Q tried to sound serious, but he couldn’t help but giggle as he spoke, not giving the agent a chance to answer his rhetorical question. “Are you a magician?” He paused to laugh again, unable to speak through his own hilarity. “Because abraca-dayum!” 

Bond rolled his eyes and was grateful to be pulling into Q’s drive at last. Admittedly, he liked Q, but bad, drunken pick up lines were not something he would let anybody forget. He made a mental note to remind the Quartermaster of them tomorrow morning, supposing he wasn’t too hungover to function. 

Q finally got into his bed after having a fight with the lock on his door. Whilst laying under the duvet, he tried to take the blazer that Bond had given him off, but was too tired to succeed. Instead, Bond did it for him. He slipped Q’s arms out of the jacket but just before he could put it down, Q mumbled “do you know what material that is?” And Bond was really quite upset he fell back to sleep before he could finish that joke off.


End file.
